I was flipping through my sketchbook when I stumbled upon a sassy cartoon version of myself with a Portal Gun.  For those of you who don’t know what Portal, it’s basically a video game where your character has a gun and can shoot portals to get through a variety of mazes.  The idea was that if I shot one end of the portal in Philadelphia and one wherever I was going, that I could easily return home.

This is what happens when I encounter massive delays in airports in places I’m not too fond of.

It’s bacon!

I just ran a program on my Facebook to find words that I use frequently and, whaddya know, I use the word “bacon” way more than any other word! I’m borderline obsessed with bacon.  I then compared it to trends across Philadelphia and then the United States only to discover that we are a nation of bacon obsessed people.  Clearly marketers were aware of this phenomenon way before it dawned on me.  Companies including Denny’s with their “Baconalia” event and Oscar Mayer who ran the Bacon-Barter challenge last year, have pioneered the bacon advertising bandwagon.

Our fascination with fatty strips of pig got me thinking about what bacon is like around the world.  I remember when I lived in Germany I spent months trying to find bacon and would often bribe my army friends to infiltrate the American base rations to bring me back some real freaking bacon.  Nevertheless, the “bacon” we know and love isn’t bad in other countries… it’s just different.  Here’s some of the bacon adventures I’ve encountered.

The American Bacon-Topia

I guess I should start with America and the different types of bacon-like substances we’ve got here on the home front.  Sure we’ve got bacon and it’s immitators including turkey-bacon and the like, but what about the regional delights!  I grew up in South Jersey where if you didn’t order bacon at one of the thousands of diners in that lovely state, then you ordered a side of pork roll, also known in some regions as “Taylor Ham”.  Pork Roll is basically a ham patty and is closely related to the Philadelphia delicacy of scrapple which is a bit more heinous. (To read more about scrapple, check out my article “Beyond the Cheesesteak: What to Eat in Philadelphia” on Viator.)

England

I can’t decide what I like more: American bacon or  British bacon.  Now I know what you’re saying, “ARRGH – Don’t tread on me” and “No taxation without representation”.  I’m not trying to start a bacon revolution or anything.  I’m just saying that British bacon is like American bacon but thicker and meatier.  You have to eat it with a fork and knife!

Czech Republic

Two words that may or may not go together: Spaghetti Bacon!?  It’s bacon in spaghetti.

Germany

I hunted for months to find bacon only to find something called “Schinken” time and time again.  Schinken is cured strips of ham sliced thin like most deli meats.  For a while I tried frying it as I would bacon because, well, I thought this was German bacon.  And that didn’t work out to well.  But I quickly discovered after watching Germans eat, that it tastes great eaten straight from the package or placed delicately on top of a lightly buttered brotchen, sans frying.

It didn’t satisfy my bacon-cravings entirely but it was an okay substitute… at least until I found “Speck”.  Speck, which directly translates to fat, was the closest thing to American bacon that I could find.  Unlike American bacon which comes from the pigs belly, speck comes from the pigs shoulder, which serves for a leaner, less fatty bacon.

German is a language that has a ton of hilarious words, but one of my favorites has to be “Kummerspeck“.  It translates directly to “grief bacon” and it describes the weight gained from emotional overeating.

Canada

In Montreal, Canadian bacon was just what I expected it to be — small disks of ham.  But when I googled “Canadian Bacon” to find a little bit of history about this succulent breakfast side, the first thing that came up was the movie “Canadian Bacon” with John Candy.  So I’m gonna leave it at that!

I’ve been home — which means more violin has been happening.  Not gonna lie – it’s been rad.

Nowadays, with the power of the internet, crafting our own travel itinerary is easier than ever.  Here’s a few tips to get you started on creating your personal perfect vacation!

1.) Picking the Destination

The first step is always picking where you’re going to go.  You might have a travel bucket list in mind, but what is feasible? Most of us have that extremely extravagant vacation in our dreams, but will our budget allow it?  Start looking at the cost of getting to your destination.  Will you fly, will you drive or will you take a bus? Factor in the cost of travel and that will determine your budget for the rest of the trip.  You can have a luxurious trip close to home or have a budget savvy trip somewhere far away.

For the small fee of $5,427, you can stay in the luxury suite for a night!

2.) Deciding on your Accommodations 

After you pick your destination and how you are getting there, the next step is picking where you’re going to stay.  Do you have enough money in your budget for a 5-star hotel or are you going to rough it and stay in a hostel room with 20 other people?  Once you pan out your accommodations, you will know your day to day budget as well as how many days you can stay.

3.) What do you Want to Do and See?

What kind of traveler are you?  Do you enjoy a good adventure in the wilderness or do you like fine dining and shopping when you travel?  Search blogs, travel websites and other resources to see what kinds of things you want to do and see.  Make a list and try to map out a tentative itinerary for each day.  This is the part of the journey that I like to keep flexible.  Perhaps my first day was originally dedicated to visiting parks, but it started to rain, so I went to a museum instead.

Though I’m sure tour groups have their positives, they can never outweigh the satisfaction of doing your own thing and “winging it” on a vacation!

At the suggestion of a friendly local, me, along with a work associate of mine, Michele, shimmied over to the Über Tap Room & Cheesebar where we indulged in a beer and cheese sampling.  It was attached to the Wisconsin Cheese Mart which opened in 1938 which made for a great place to try some of Wisconsin’s infamous cheese.  I grabbed myself a Lakefront Rendevous and decided to go back to my time living in Germany with the “Old German Favorites” cheese platter which included Smoked Brick, Butterkase, Petit Frere, and Limburger — all stinky cheeses, but all quite delicious with my refreshing beer.  To get myself even more into the German spirit, my colleague and I also shared the Sausage Sample which included German Salami, Cheddar Summer Sausage, Usinger’s Sausage, Pretzel Bread, mustard and onions.

Dueling Pianos

After a fine dinner with my work associates, Michele and I hit up Lucille’s Dueling Piano Bar & Grill.  The bar was small mainly because there were two baby grand pianos facing one another in the middle of the bar.  At each piano was a rowdy fella either throwing insults at his partner or at the crowd.  These were two guys that were certainly very talented as everything was improv.  More impressive was the fact that they were not afraid to “go there” if you know what I mean.

I couldn’t leave Milwaukee without visiting one of their many. many breweries.  But I wasn’t into seeing where Pabst is born — no no — I see enough Pabst in the hands of many a hipster in Philadelphia.  I went for a quick jaunt over to Lakefront Brewery, a microbrewery in the Riverwest area of Milwaukee.  I didn’t have time to take a tour, but I did have time to down a whole menagerie of beer!  I was quite impressed at the array of exquisite flavors offered by this small, craft brewery.

Usinger’s Sausage

Usinger’s is Milwaukee’s premier butcher shop, offering up authentic German style meats!  It felt like I was in Germany again sampling the Würste with a variety of mustards.  I picked up most of my souvenirs for the folks here which included summer sausage in the shape of a beer bottle and cheddar cheese shaped like Wisconsin.  Nothing says I love you more to your family that delicious delicious treats from the places that you travel to!

Look familiar?  YES! If you’ve been reading my blog for the past three years, you’ll recognize Annalyse all the way from the beginning.  I met her when I went over to Germany, and even traveled with her to France!  She is living, working and rocking it out over in Chicago and took the two hour drive over to Milwuakee just to visit me!  Hurray!

And what trip to Milwaukee would be complete without enjoying views of Lake Michigan!  It was my first time ever to one of the Great Lakes.  There’s plenty to do around the lake for visitors including fine dining, museums and epic city skyline views.  This was certainly one of the highlights of my trip.

Thus, I have achieved my goal of making Philadelphia laugh for a day!

The Las Vegas Strip

Before the age of the Internet, if you wanted to go gamble, you had to travel a great deal of distance to a casino.  Whether it was to Las Vegas, Atlantic City or a resort somewhere in between, it took time and money to get there.  Even though it proved to be a great vacation opportunity, it was not readily available to people who could not afford to travel that far and take that much risk.  But now, with online casino gaming sites like iPadcasino.ca, people can have the fun of the casino from their homes.

So what does this mean for great casino destinations like Las Vegas, Atlantic City or even my home of Philadelphia?  Casinos profit margins are quite high anyway, so I’m sure they haven’t taken too much of a hit.  If anything, they have amped up their marketing and increased their expenditures on creating more of an experience rather than just offering a ton of casino games.  Casinos now concentrate a lot on offering shows, buffets and free drinks to those playing casino games.  Some casinos are even marketed as family friendly destinations with entertainment for kids.

I’ve never been personally into gambling or casinos, but on a recent trip to Las Vegas, Nevada, I discovered that there is so much more to do than just gamble.  Although, I did enjoy watching people play table games and get served free drinks because I’m a pretty lady!

But alas!  Online gambling sites are here to stay, but they aren’t competing with the vacationing resort feel that brick and mortar casinos offer us.  Rather, they offer everyone with the convenient opportunity to enjoy casino games in the comfort of their homes.

The story of how we discovered such a joy is quite romantic.   We were bummed by the attitudes of the hipsters in the East 6th Street.  They would engage us, but they certainly weren’t the most welcoming to their Philadelphian visitors.  We decided to go get sloshed further down 6th where most of the dance clubs and louder bars were located.  It was the weekend before Mardi Gras and Austin was having it’s own sinful time, so we were certain that it would be a good time.

Staggering in an arbitrary direction (I don’t even remember if it was the correct one) we heard a bluesy/folksy/country tune floating on the breeze.  Intrigued by the sound, we followed the music over the railroad tracks, like sailors to a siren, and discovered a tiny little red shack in the middle of a residential neighborhood called “Scoot Inn”.

Nicole and I sat in the back of the yard on a cement slab people watching and getting lost in our own thoughts.  Seated on the other side of the cement slab was Jeremy, a kind engineer from Indiana.  He was nervously shuffling and glancing in our direction, clearly not knowing how to handle the two chicks sitting near him.  He had just finished spilling his entire beer on himself when we decided to spark up a conversation.  We asked why the Scoot Inn seemed so crowded for the evening and he had mentioned that Shakey Graves was headlining.  He continued to explain that Shakey Graves is a one man band who plays the guitar, a drum and a tambourine simultaneously while pouring out his soul in the form of story telling lyrics.

When Shakey Graves took to the stage the crowd waiting intently for him to begin.  He was a young Texan with simple attire: a white T-shirt, a cowboy hat and jeans.  While he played he would place his cigarette at the head of his guitar between the strings and the tuning keys and would only take a puff between sets.  He had a smooth voice that was a little raspy, possibly from the smoking but I want to believe it was from the harshness of the themes of his songs, which were romantic tunes of travelers, murderers and risk takers.  For close to an hour we were hypnotized by his melodious picking style and bad ass lyrics.  I instantly fell in love with what he was all about.

Hope he comes to Philadelphia soon!

My weekends have been filled with biking through the streets of Philadelphia taking photos of hidden alleyways, citywide attractions and neighborhood hotspots.  I’ve had the opportunity to scale skyscrapers to take pictures of other skyscrapers, hang off of fences and trees to get that “perfect angle” and, at one point, jump in the middle of traffic because I didn’t want to “miss that moment”!

This City Needs a Hero!

(I’m sure I’ll get that Mom-text that says “KAE LANI YOU’RE GOING TO DRIVE ME TO AN EARLY GRAVE”!!!!)  Oh, but the people I’ve met and the things that I’ve seen in these few weeks have certainly been a pleasure.

So last week, when I officially made enough money to pay off my taxes, I took a break to make this masterpiece.  I seriously have no idea where my taxes go in Philadelphia because it’s certainly not going into the sinkhole situation, public transportation, schools (Philly will be closing about 23 schools this year) or towards picking up the garbage!  The only feasible answer to the tax mystery is that Mayor Nutter is riding a cheesesteak eating velociraptor at City Hall shooting a Phillies foam finger (hey, I had to make this graphic family friendly).

Where your Philadelphia taxes go

Philadelphia – We have a love hate relationship.

But now that there is a bit of stability on the horizon, you can expect more blog posts about my travel antics.