Top 5 Hotels I’ll Never Stay In

… And no not because I’m poor and travel within my means.  I’m a woman who enjoys simplicity and even if I had all of the money in the world, I would still find overly extravagant hotels ridiculous.  I don’t look at the accommodations of a luxury hotel and go “yes – this is what I need.”  HELL NO!  I’m the girl that goes into a hotel and says “perfect – it has a bed”.

Lap pool, helicopter service, private library?  Who needs that?  Here are five hotels that make me laugh because they exude hilarious levels of luxury and outrageously extravagant accommodations.

1.) The Presidential Suite, InterContinental, Hong Kong

PRESIDENTIAL_SUITE5For the low price of $13,715 per night, you can experience one of the best foggy panoramic views of the overly polluted Hong Kong.  With a wrap around balcony and more square feet than my apartment in Philadelphia, this suite comes with a rooftop pool and jacuzzi overlooking the Victoria Harbor.

This spacious suite comes with a master bedroom, dining room, a gym with a wall of windows facing the city skyline and a kitchenette.  It’s not a full kitchen — people who have enough money to spend on this suite don’t have to cook. Why cook when you can eat the most extravagant meals from world class chefs for breakfast, lunch and dinner?

2.) Villa La Cupola Suite, Westin Excelsior, Rome

8-villa-la-cupola-suite-westin-excelsior-rome-most-expensive-hotel-suitesWhy pay for all four years of college when you can spend a night in the ultra lush and extravagant Villa La Cupola Suite at the Westin Excelsior in Rome.  For $30,000 you can spend one night in one of Europe’s larges suites.  Inspired by ancient Rome, the Villa La Cupola Suite features stained glass, frescoes and marble designs throughout.  There’s also a private sauna and spa, private wraparound terrace to catch some sun and a private movie theater… because who needs to socialize when you’ve got this much money?

3.) The Presidential Suite, The Raj Palace Hotel, Jaipur, India

110830032459-raj-palace-horizontal-galleryGet your own palace in India for only $45,000. I mean, what a deal, who could pass up this very reasonable price!  The only way I would ever stay in this suite is if I did it with 450 of my closest friends so that I only had to spend $100.

It’s the biggest suite in all of Asia, coming in at nearly 1,500 square meters and has a private roof terrace with swimming pool offering panoramic views of the pink city of Jaipur.  This lavish, four-story apartment is decorated throughout with ivory, gold leaf and mirrors so that you can look at how rich you are.  I think what really blows the lid off of how ridiculous this suite is is the fact that it comes complete with its own private museum — private museum?!  Because it’s absurd to even fathom sharing a museum with anyone else — hell no — need to keep a museum to yourself.

 4.) The Maestro Suite, The Dolder Grand, Zurich, Switzerland maestro-turm-living

Peer down from the tallest tower of the Dolder Grand in Switzerland in the Maestro Suite.  Inspired by the classical music conductor Maestro Herbert von Karajan, this lavish accommodation includes two bedrooms and a bathroom constructed of marble.  Enjoy meals from a private kitchen in the luxurious dining room located in the tower of the suite and unwind from the day in the private sauna (being rich can be so stressful).  There’s also a bar and a fireplace, making it a grand space to entertain.  And all for the low price of $18,800 per night.

5.) The Penthouse, The Fairmont, San Francisco, California, USA

The Penthouse at the Fairmont San Francisco

This is a truly entertaining space.  The 6,000 square foot Penthouse at the Fairmount in San Francisco, California includes a dining room that can seat 60 people, a large terrace overlooking the San Francisco skyline, a living room with carved wood paneling and a domed billiard room paved in Persian tile.  But I think one of the silliest aspects of this space is that there is a secret passageway that connects the two-story library to the penthouse!  Though I find it exceedingly extravagant, I would have fun with the library and the secret passageway — that’s just dreamy!

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13 thoughts on “Top 5 Hotels I’ll Never Stay In

  1. Arianwen

    Ah, lifestyles of the rich and the famous, eh?! Oh well, I’m a firm believer that it’s about what you see, not where you stay when you travel. If you’re going to spend most of your time asleep, then who cares where?! :)
    Arianwen recently posted..10 Ayers Rock Facts

    1. Kae Lani Post author

      Yes! I agree! When I travel I’m barely at my hotel/hostel anyway. I’m there to sleep and eat a free breakfast. Other than that, I’m out and about exploring.

      [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ’0 which is not a hashcash value.

    1. Kae Lani Post author

      Agreed! I think the San Francisco penthouse would be one I would maybe consider if I were absurdly wealthy.

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  2. Rebecca

    The way i see it there are two types of people who’ll stay in such hotels;The ultra-ultra rich for whom money actually makes no difference, you could literally add a zero on the end of any price tag and it wouldn’t make the slightest difference to them in financial terms. Then there are those who are pretty rich and actually get a buzz from knowing they are getting the “best” in luxury and the prestige that goes with it.

    In actual terms of comfort once you are going beyond 3-4 star you aren’t actually paying for better facilities, it’s mainly prestige and in some cases more uncomfortable. Alot of 5 star hotels don’t provide free wifi! they say it’s because they want to provide premium speeds to their guests which is total BS because you can stay in a hostel down the street providing free wifi and the speed is just fine!

    Then you have those massive 5 stars where you actually need to take 2 separate elevators just to get to your room! i’m sorry but that’s just ridiculous and inconvenient it shouldn’t take 10 minutes to get from my room to the street.

    1. Kae Lani Post author

      I’m sure with this accommodation you could easily find 60 people to come crash your penthouse.

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